Time flies...

...when you're having fun! (Turn on your volume for the song; and the video at the bottom of this post...)

Fun shopping consignment sales for skinny-waisted, long legged pants; Ava-approved skirts; festive long-sleeved shirts; shoes, (Sponge Bob, bright yellow) croqs, (Hello Kitty) rain boots; gum, candy, did-I-say GUM; dolls, bunnies and accessories.

Fun playing with the Little People house; her assortment of babydoll and stuffed animals w/ their "own" pack n play, stroller and bottles. Fun singing and dancing to her Chinese Children's Songs CD. Fun jumping on the mini trampolene and watching Tinkerbell (our barn cat) bounce along with her. (Tinker is her first "favorite" pet on the farm; she calls for him all day and he happily gives up a mouse chase to come running for a piece of whatever she's handing out.) Fun watching Winne the Pooh and getting as hooked on it as her little mei mei, Eliza; oh and yes, Barney too; Sponge Bob Square Pants...just to name a few others. Fun coloring and drawing wonderful pictures of her new life on the farm.

Fun asking Mom and Dad to "act out" Trick or Treat over and over again so she gets it just right come October 31, which no doubt will become HER favorite "holiday" since she is the biggest sweet-tooth I've ever met. Fun getting a balloon and free cookie every time she goes to the grocery store.

Fun adding the word "pee" to the end of every english word she repeats for us: Thank you Mompee; Trick or Pee; A B C Pee; 1 2 Pee 4; Hopee (Hogan)...and laughing hysterically at herself when she does it.

After about a week being home, Derek and Ava had run into a fast food restaurant to use the bathroom, so I moved over to the driver's seat to pull closer to the building for them. I slightly drove up on the curb and started laughing. I had to remind Allie that it was the first time I had driven in about 3 weeks. At that, Derek and Ava came out of the restaurant to get in the car. When Ava got in and saw me behind the wheel, she said "Uh oh!" and looked at Daddy with a startled look. We all started cracking up and it dawned on me that we took a taxi everywhere in China and Dad had been driving since we came home. She probably didn't know that I knew how to drive. We all had a good laugh over that.

Ava's doing really, really well. She seems genuinely happy. She's respecting boundaries better now with minimal re-directing. It seems that I only have to correct her once or show her once how to do something and she's on it next time w/ no prompting from me. She still tries to slighly squat on the potty instead of sit and we had an accident in Target when she was squating over a (I guess?) higher-than-normal toilet seat and pee'd all down her leg, into her undies and skirt that she had pulled down to her ankles. She came shuffling out of the toilet area calling "Mommy". I was a bit shocked, but told her to pull 'em up, wash her hands and out we went to purchase new undies and pants; pay for 'em; and return to the rest room.

She and Eliza are interracting well; seeing some teasing from Ava, but Eliza is pushing her back and in some ways seems more mature than Ava (lol). She has to wear and have everything that Eliza has. She no longer wants to wear her hair up because Eliza wears hers down (a short bob). She actually wants me to cut her hair short (yikes!) Considering Locks for Love, but would never go shorter than the 10 inches required to make a donation. When she wears her hair down, she sits on it or it gets caught in the back pocket buttons on her pants and she screams in pain. ... She wants the same clip in her hair that Eliza wears, ya-da, ya-da, ya-da. They get into the silliest giggle fits and I've caught a few on video. They are still happily sleeping in the same room and going to bed on time (wow, mom's dream come true).

She sets the table for me every night and has to count out the napkins herself. She also likes to put on an apron, pull up her sleeves and wash dishes. She helps me fold clothes and does it with such skill that it makes you wonder who is doing your laundry when you send it out in China!

She is still whining about not going to school like everyone else. I've got her reigstered and think she'll start soon. She's been in school (Half the Sky) since she was 3. She's an outgoing girl and in my heart, I think she needs to be there. She is "fitting herself" into the family more and more every day in many different ways...all good. She wants her artwork displayed in the kitchen like Eliza's. She had us hang her China things over and around her bed. She understands her seat in the car and at the table now. She draw pictures of herself with the family. She and I set up her closet and her drawers in the dresser.

Ava looking up at Daddy in airplane

Ava and Tinkerbell on the sidewalk

Mommy walking Hogan (Eliza ripped the paper in half)

Derek has had to travel 2 times now since we've been home (back-to-back weeks) and she's accepted it fine. We draw pictures of airplanes and count the days. Her eating is getting better; she loved my beef stew and was intrigued watching me make it. I love hearing her talking to her dolls or playing and talking to herself in Mandarin. She sings a lot. She is perfectly comfortable talking to the mandarin speaking people in our Chinese restaurants too.

As for me, I can't believe we've only been home 2 weeks and that it's only been 4 weeks since I first met Ava. She's an in-your-face type of child, which has taken me a bit to settle into, but her smile and laugh is infectious. The jet lag wasn't as bad this time for me, but I think that's because I had Ava talking and going non-stop every day vs. Eliza being a baby-toddler and me being home alone with her last time. I go to bed exhausted every night and my ears ringing from the noise all day (lol). I'm still trying to balance being a mom to every one and a wife to Derek; pretty irritable every day, but hoping that time and sleep will ease that...okay and compliance from everyone! I went for a walk alone on Sunday with Hogan; alone for the first time in 3 weeks. Wow; I require a lot of alone time. I walked so slowly that I was almost walking backwards! The peaceful, wind-blowing, cool breeze, sunshine, the time alone felt so good. The days go by so fast that I rarely have time to take it all in and give thanks for this beautiful, spirited, so-wanting-to-be-loved and accepted child that, frightened as she was, took my hand and let me bring her home.  There was a time in China, when I didn't think she would.  The song that I chose to play is for Ava and our time together.  "Thank you, Ava, for letting me be your mommy and showing you the world that you didn't know."

(To watch the video, stop the song in the sidebar so you can hear Ava.)

Good days

Ava and I have had 2 good days together; w/ Daddy on the road for work and siblings all off to school, I guess she figures she is stuck with me.  Just kidding.

She did tell me that she wants to go to mei mei Eliza's school.  ...We had our dr exam today and 3 shots.  Try explaining to a potty-brained, silly 7 yo old about how to collect a urine sample and stool sample too.  We both were cracking up over the mime demonstration that the visual required.  (She is so excited to try the stool sample, that she's been bugging me since coming home...poop on demand?...I wish I could do that...TMI)

Overall, she was a trooper, but then again "free and unlimited" lollipops and stickers are a way to this girl's brain and heart.  She didn't want the shots, but when I told her she'd have to have them to go to mei mei Eliza's school, she said okay.  LOL  If I told any other kid that, they'd pass on vaccinations in a heartbeat just as a way out of going to school!  Boy was she crying hard though over the shots.  (I also thought maybe it was just a good outlet for the tears that she might've been keeping in.)  Back home, all smiles again...and still asking to collect her poop!

Thanks for everyone's input about food experiences, suggestions and making me feel like every behavior is normal.   She's eating better (constant rice, noodles, Ramen, veggies, watermellon, eggs).   She's doing really well, settling in much more as each day passes and starting to like ME a little more again!  Hasn't stuck her tongue out since being put in timeout.  In fact, she's listening and responding to me very well now.

Except last night, she asked if she could sleep w/ me since Daddy was away.  I told her no.  So, then she told me to lay on Eliza's bed while Eliza and SHE snuggled in her bed.  Uh no.  I took back the control and told her if I couldn't lay w/ them, then Eliza would lay w/ me as usual.  She decided that Eliza was smothering her too much anyway, so she told me to take Eliza back over to her own bed.  LOL  (Couldn't blame her there!)

They've been falling asleep in 5 minutes flat.  Unheard of with Eliza.  Don't know what the magic is, but I'm thrilled!  I was back downstairs by 8:00 p.m. last night in time to enjoy primetime tv and tea for the first time in 1.5 years...seriously!  Of course, I didn't find anything good to watch so I started catching up on DVR recordings of Young and the Restless, Grey's Anatomy, Survivor...next thing I knew, it was midnight and they'd all be getting up in 6 hours!  Oh, but it felt so good to have ALONE time and control of the remote!

Call me AVA

The girls:  Sharing an afternoon snack of peanuts together

So, Miss Toot-sweet was in a pouty mood this a.m. when Derek went to work upstairs in his office and the kids all went to school.  Hrumph, she was stuck with me.  She stomped and pouted and ignored and stuck out her tongue at me...ONCE.

Okay, so back to the beginning of the day...  First she pouted on the way to driving Eliza to school because Eliza had a raincoat and she didn't have one...so I showed her the universal hand sign for money (pointer, middle and thumb rubbing together) and told her we'd buy one for her.  She didn't forget that and bugged me (and later Dad) about it all day mimicking the hand sign that I had showed her.   I think she was also pouting because she wasn't going to school.  I do empathize with her world being changed and the fact that she is trying to establish herself into the family dynamic and into possessions.  I also chuckle quite a bit because she is such a 6-7 yo...lots of pee-pee, poo-poo jokes and gestures; pranks.  She's really quite funny, silly, smart and we're all enjoying her and her personality that she brings to our family.

So, being stuck with mom... She and I came home from dropping Eliza off at school and she started in with the ignoring me and eventual sticking her tongue out at me when I told her I'd brush her hair after I finished loading the dishes into the dishwashwer...she swiftly got her toy taken away and into timeout for 5 minutes.  She sat there very obedient.  After 5 minutes, tear in her eye, I gave her a hug (she stiff hugged back, don't ya love that) and then she was happy again.  She was very compliant the remainder of the day.  Bored, but compliant.  Okay, "very" is a little over the top; she was better.  LOL

Maybe because I needed some control or sanity, I spent the a.m. cleaning, purging, bleaching.  Maybe because I lived out of a suitcase and a hotel for 10 days?  Maybe because I just didn't feel like entertaining what started out to be another pouty-child day?  Ha, ha...  Either way, she finally settled into the kitchen table with Play-Doh and accessories and went to town making enough Play-Doh Chinese noodles to fill platters, teacups, a teapot...to overflowing.   Tomorrow, she and I are going to our Asian market to see if she wants to pick out same familiar foods.  Hint, hint:  Chinese noodles, I got it.  She hasn't been eating as much since being home no matter how I try to fix things that she ate while in China.

We went across the street to my friend Kim's for a minute and she immediately started opening her fridge and freezer.  She pulled out cheese.  Oh my, apologies, boundaries... Kim took it all in stride.  She offered her some cheese and I said that I was quite sure Ava didn't like cheese.  Well, like she does with all her food, she shoved the entire piece in her mouth.  She walked around for 5 minutes, not swallowing it and we couldn't help but laugh before signaling that she could spit it out into the garbage.  She seems to want to graze all day and not settle down for a meal; she also seems to be trying everything, but not finding anything that she likes.  I feel bad.  She didn't even like our Chinese restaurant...can't blame her...American Chinese restaurants don't even compare to real China food.  Anyone have any food suggestions or easy recipes?

She also took it upon herself to gather up the white's (laundry that I had made her put aside yesterday) and brought them downstairs to the washer on her own.  She's giving my 13 yo a run for her money between laundry and doing dishes, I'll tell ya!  I had to remind my 13 yo that Ava didn't have the distraction of laptops, tv, texting/cell phones, etc. in her previous home and that if she doesn't shape up herself, she might not have those distractions either!  LOL

So, here's when she started being more compliant and agreeable:  At one point, I had Shutterfly up and was looking at pictures from China.  She leaned over my back and then chimed in with something that I couldn't understand.  I made out 2 words:  Meiying and Ava.  Finally, I figured out and she confirmed many times to me, that what she said was that she doesn't want to be called Meiying anymore.  She wants us to call her Ava.  Derek and I tested this through out the day and everytime we'd call her Meiying or even Ava-Mei, she'd yell NO and say Ava.  Huh!?!  Any insight on that from you BTDT's; what brought that on; disassociating or detaching or accepting?  She definitely seemed more interested in my requests or directions after that.

We stopped by our Chinese restaurant so that Derek could convey, through their translations, that he has to head out of town for work; and also that she need not be afraid of our passive dogs.  She nodded yes to both, but I think she'll be in a shocker when she realizes that Daddy is gone for a few days each week and she'll be STUCK with mommy.   (He's been home for a month, so he really needs to get back on the road.  I wish he could finish the week out at home.)  And we'll see if she is less afraid of the dogs.  Doubtful.  Even though she's watched Eliza practically stick her entire hand in their mouth and mount Hogan like he's a horse.

We had a good day overall.   I think things were clicking a little more today for Ava.  She gave me some gentle and unsolicited hugs as the day went on.   By 7:30, both girls had their baths together which they enjoy and were snuggled into their  beds ...ASLEEP.  Yes, by 7:30!  Eliza would normally be awake until 9:30 p.m. or so.  Also, this is the third night of Eliza actually allowing us to tuck her into bed in her "old" bedroom and staying up there all night!  I'm resting much better, but am missing those hard-as-a-board China beds.  Seriously.  They were so good for my back.  I'm probably the only person who actually like them. 

I realize at some point I'm going to have to merge my blogs, E and A-M's, now that we're home.  So, speaking of E and A-M, they are becoming sisters a little bit more with each passing day.  The first few days, Eliza seemed to have this look on her face like "ugh, she's still here" and Meiying would watch Eliza, but didn't seem real enthused either.  Eliza has really come alive in the last 2 days though.  She's babbling more than ever, she's watching everything that Ava-Mei does; everything; and they're sharing the same bedroom!  (Remember, Eliza's been sleeping w/ dad and mom since last May.)  Meiying has made sure to tell us that she wants Eliza sleeping up there in the other bed too.  Last night was the first full night that Eliza didn't come downstairs in the middle of the night.  I heard her wake up, but she quickly went quiet again and they both slept until 8:15 a.m. when they showed up together at our bedroom door.  What a cute, cute site that was...like a dream seeing my 2 little girls standing side-by-side at our door with happy morning faces on.

So, yesterday was Derek's day #3 with A-M.  If you remember, my day 3 was the start of the rejection.  Ava-Meiying was certainly testing, rebelling, triangulating (*see more about that) and pouting and mixing some happiness in there too.  We called it the B-P day (bi-polar) because her moods were all over the place.  Today, she woke happy though and stayed happy all day...less busy...less chaotic in her playing with toys.  She enjoyed being a big sister to Eliza today, even picking her up a few times and Eliza would giggle with delight; helping Eliza reach for things that she couldn't get to and giving her kisses on the cheek.  I'm watching her carefully.  She tried to reprimand Eliza about something Eliza was getting into and Derek and both told her "no"; that's mommy and daddy's job.  Also, right now, I don't think she's perceiving Eliza as a threat because I'm Eliza's primary and so that free's up Derek to her.  I'll continue to keep a watch though.

We met our friend Marisa and her 3 kids at McD's playland then all went to Harris Lake Park for bikeriding and playground time.  Marisa's son, Jordan, is the same age as Meiying.  They had a good time racing around the paved path on their bikes...even though he's a boy and she's a girl...ewww.  She is picking up english very quickly (more translating then actually speaking it still), but she does repeat english very well.  We bought her a V-tech laptop that she's already mastering (counting, letters, etc.).  She and I have played a memory game that she enjoys and is very good at.  She also had to put on an apron (to match me) and stood at the sink washing dishes while I made dinner tonight.  She really seemed to enjoy helping out.  She's been a joy today and seemed very settled in...the most today.   She can get wild at times and whiney when we tell her she has to put something away before getting another thing out, but she's starting to get it.   We topped off the day by going to Dairy Queen after dinner.  It's 8:30 p.m. and both little girls are sound asleep already in "their" bedroom!  Hip hip hooray.  What a treat that is and what a beautiful site to see them both snuggled down in those beds in the same room.  I love it!

So, my Guilin-family friend, Adriana, has been so good at sharing her experiences with me and the behaviors of older adopted children.  She commented about triangulating when I mentioned that I was chopped liver and Meiying was now sitting in the front passenger seat.  I knew she was right in what she was saying and quite honestly, you can tell that it's more than just a child interested in sitting up front to "see" everything out the car windshield.  I knew that before I even read Adriana's e-mail to me.   It was an obvious "honing" in on my space.  (I don't mean for this to sound cruel; there were some other things that she was purposefully doing to try to move me aside for Dad's attention.)  The first few days, she made sure to sit at the same place at the table that she sat for her first meal at home.  Then, out of the blue, yesterday morning, she walked over to my seat while I was eating, holding her own plate, she gestured for me to switch seats with her (I sit next to Derek, of course).  I told her no.  Oh boy...she tried to nudge me out of the seat and tried pushing my plate out of the way.  (Derek and I had already talked about not letting her do some of these behaviors just because she was new to the family; that it was more important to establish the dynamics of the family right up front.)  So, Derek then spoke up and told her that was my seat and she needed to sit back down at the table at her seat.  That was the start of the B-P day!  The next issue was when we made her vacate the front passenger seat in the car and explained that was Mom's seat (which she already knew).  She went rag-doll on Derek when she refused to budge and he had to physically pick her up and move her to the back.  He felt awful, I could tell and I know my husband, he'd rather not deal with it, but I insisted that we stick to our guns about this.  So, the rebelling began.  She kept taking her seatbelt off while we were driving and stuck her tongue out at me when I told her to put it back on...oh yes (and it wasn't a sticking out of the tongue like you'd imagine, it was more like a throwing-up kind of sticking out of the tongue).  It was a joyful day for me.  She then started making Derek carry her everywhere.  I won't go into all the details of the day.  We certainly picked our battles and more importantly had to stick together like glue on some of the issues even though Derek thought more compassion was needed and all would work itself out (that's him).  Today was better and she "took her place" in stride and without any issues.  So, my recommendation is nip things in the bud right away and you'll have a more secure, happy child because they'll know what to expect and they'll understand the dynamics and how/where they fit in.  I'm sure there will be more to come.  In fact, she wouldn't share a piece of her candy with me after "lovingly" sharing it with her dad and dad took it away from her.  He started understanding what I was explaining to him as things happen.  She will still ignore us and more me, when she doesn't want to do something, but like parenting Eliza, I just "take away the distraction" and redirect.  It's tiring, but she started coming around today.  She is truly a blessing to the family and we're all enjoying the addition of Meiying (aka Ava-Mei, Mei-Mei, just Ava, just Meiying, etc.)

She was also very upset that she wasn't going to school yet like Allie and Eliza.  So, on the agenda for this week, a visit to our pediatrician to make sure she's current on her immunizations needed for school and then getting her registered.  She's really enjoyed going along when we pick up Eliza from school and I truly think she's ready to be be around kids again and learning.  She seems to be craving the knowledge in everything we do, write, say, etc.  I had even bought some Kindergarten and 1st Grade work books for counting and alphabet and she's loving them.   Anyway, I've uploaded pics to Shutterfly and some video too.  Thanks for continuing to follow our journey and commenting!

Home, Chopped Liver and Continuing to Charm

2:15 p.m. (Friday) North Carolina

Yes, we're home.  Still recovering from jet lag (re-entry as I call it).  It's like having a bad hangover.  Meiying seems to be fairing much better than Mom.  She's going non-stop all day.  She and I still aren't sleeping through the night yet, but that doesn't seem to slow her down during the day.  I'm uploading some of the latest pictures to Shutterfly.

She did great on the flights.  Bravely took my hand and let me lead her through 4 airports, 3 airplane rides; what a trooper!  A little Benadryl and Melatonin on the 13 hour flight helped her sleep for a few hours.  Otherwise, each time I started to doze off, she would turn up the volume on my headset as loud as she could and laugh at herself. 

It was soooo good to land at JFK and even though we had another flight still ahead of us, I felt like I was home.  As we were landing, the song that was playing thru my headphones from the airplane "radio" was Moon River.  One of my dad's favorites.  I immediately started tearing up.  Meiying even got to witness me getting into a little NY'er fight when a young "punk" of a kid cut in line right in front of me while waiting at the security check.  We already had been waiting and waiting; so I had to bring out my ugly NY'er inside of me.  Ah, it felt good.  I bought her an "I love NY" snowglobe since it was her first landing in America.

We arrived in NC a bit early.  I had to wake her and she was very shy when meeting everyone.  Still shy and somewhat shell shocked when we got home, we all sat up with her for a while playing Jenga and just letting her take everything in.  Eliza  played coy with me at first until she locked eyes with me, then she started squeezing my neck as hard as she could.  It never felt so good to be hugged, be home and hear english being spoken!  We arrived home to beautiful, cool, crisp early autumn NC weather too.  My favorite!

Eliza's been a bit whiney and not too sure about this charming, spunky sister who arrived in the house.  She watches her a lot and has a not too pleasant expression on her face.   She had a little fit at bedtime last night, not wanting Meiying to be in the room.  They finally warmed up to each other in the bathtub this a.m. and I got some great pictures and video of that.

Other than all of that, Meiying has been charming everyone.  She's in love with her daddy and he is the MAN!  Mom is now chopped liver.  That's great with me though, I love watching them interract and am enjoying the respite.   She has even replaced me in the front passenger seat of the car.  She has to be up front watching everything and sitting co-pilot with Daddy.  They've already ridden on the big John Deere together and she's already gotten her first bike w/ training wheels and is loving that.  She is scared of the dogs; though she calls for them constantly and "throws" them treats instead of getting too close to hand them to the dogs!  She has been fattening up my cats w/ bowls of milk all day long and everytime she gets something to eat, she ends up taking it outside to feed to the chicken.  She plays outside all day; in and out, in and out, in and out!  She's having a blast.  Happy, happy, happy.  She only teared up once and that was the first night home, she woke at 4:00 a.m. and I think she was just scared and disoriented.  She immediately became happy again when I brought her downstairs and she started exploring all of Eliza's toys.

The house was so clean and nice when I came home.  Derek did a great job being Mr. Mom and even steam-cleaned the carpet in the living room.  It's a wreck now though.  Meiying is a whirlwind as she explores everything!  We're all doing well and having lots of fun.  She hasn't missed a beat and other than her fear of the dogs, I'd say that she loves being home and on the farm.  More updates when I can "focus" long enough without the room spinning.  (I remember this last time too...it's an awful feeling for me.)

Packed up and calling it a night

8:30 p.m. Guangzhou (Tuesday)   That's it.  I can't believe I fit everything this girl talked me into buying into the 2 original suitcases that I brought to China.  I'm a little melancholy tonight.  I'm so excited to get home and see everyone and make the introductions, but I've also really enjoyed the last few days here with Meiying.  This trip to China was so different from the first trip in 2006 for more than the obvious reasons.   I really felt like I was seeing China through Meiying's eyes and through her language and it made me appreciate it in a different way.  I enjoyed watching her, so confident and spunky, make her way around the streets, the vendors, the restaurants.  I also enjoyed some really, really good Chinese food this time.  If you're coming to China, don't settle for Lucy's on Shamian Island every day (though it still provides the western comforts of a good hamburger and french fries as you sit and listen to Journey, Air Supply, the BG's, etc...)  Go to JM Chef and ask for the peppered beef on sizzling platter.  It's out of this world good!   Today, we walked...and walked...and walked the streets of Guangzhou through the local markets, alley ways and into their more western mall area.  We quickly left that mall and headed back to the more authentic streets.  I did this same thing in '06 w/ Derek and Eliza, but honestly, couldn't handle the smells and sights back then.  Today, I was soaking it all in.  It's an easy walk across the canal on Shamian Island and down a few streets once in Guangzhou.   Meiying was hilarious.  If someone would try to sell me something, she'd wave her hand "no" at them very emphatically and say, "Mommy-ahh, NO."  She had me try canalope icecream on a cone and it was fantastic (w/ raisins sprinkled on it).  Really, really good.  We bought and ate dim sum, all different varieties.  We bought some moon cakes to bring home for the Harvest Moon Festival coming up at the beginning of October.  At one point, our group broke up and our guide walked some of the group back to Shamian Island..  The rest of us were w/out our guide.  Well, Meiying turned into our little ambassador-translator.  This is how smart this girl is, the vendor would tell Meiying the price and she would hold up her fingers to tell us how much.  Of course, now that I think about, we think she's smart and were hoping that she gave us the right amount?!  Either way, she was so cute and thoroughly enjoyed her role.  It was raining for most of the walk and so we got filthy and wet, but it was so fun.   We spent the rest of the afternoon w/ Lieba and Amei finishing our shopping on Shamian Island and eating one last meal at Lucy's, which we lingered over and the girls played and drew pictures.   I've uploaded Meiying's drawings so you can see.  The first one is Mommy and Meiying and we are holding hands (she made sure to point that out to me and to point out my earrings).  The next one is our house, down to the detail of the chimney and a horse in the yard w/ someone riding it; oh and also Eliza's bike.  The next one is our house w/ a bird and an airplane flying above it.  Lastly, she wanted Lieba to draw a picture of me next to the house so she could copy it.  Well, Lieba's verson has me "thin"; Meiying's version has me quite plump.   Lieba being in the field of early childhood, tried to convince me that that means I'm warm and full of love.  Hmmm, yeah, ok.  She also has me very "teethy", which was so funny, and very interesting because I had gotten a copy of a "certain" report on Meiying, from a "certain" can't-be-named person before I left for China.  In the report it said that all the drawings by Meiying of her foster family, didn't include herself in the family and the foster mother was never smiling in the drawings.  So, apparently, my teeth and smile is worth drawing!   Lieba and I were both feeling nostalgic about leaving and were so thankful that we had each other to hang out with for the last leg of the adoption.  Amei is so similar to Eliza in many ways and it was good seeing Meiying interract with her.  She seemed to ground Meiying and bring out the calmer side of her.  I liked that.   After we said our goodbyes (which Meiying gave Lieba a big hug all on her own), Meiying (who I keep calling Eliza???) and I came back to the Marriott to begin packing.  Now, here's where it got really funny.  She was trying to pack everything in the room.  Yes, the mini bar, the bathroom toiletries and towels, the desk accessories, piling up the pillows.  Her Daddy would be proud of her!  I tried explaining that these things didn't belong to us.  Fortunately, our guide stopped by to drop off Meiying's passport/visa and the brown envelope (!!) and was able to explain to her.  I was laughing so hard.  Just wait 'til Meiying realizes that we're not going to live in a house w/ an elevator, breakfast buffet, soda, shopping, taxi rides... She is so excited to come home and has been looking at the photo album and practicing everyone's names.  Though she started getting giddy and was interchanging names (i.e. Eliza became Daddy; Daddy became the dog; ha, ha, ha, etc.)   Well, tomorrow (Wednesday), I'll be arriving at 9:05 p.m. on American from JFK.  I'm so excited.  Anyone that wants to come (Cheryl, Christa, Marisa, Judy, Kim, Tarra, Jen & boys, Jeff, Carol...) please come.  You can call Derek if you need more details.  If it's too late being that it's a school night, I totally understand and we'll make our rounds meeting everyone as soon as we're able, which will proably be soon since Miss Spunky-Pants-herself isn't into hanging around the house for very long.  Thank you everyone for all your prayers and support; I couldn't have made it thru those tough days without you all.  I look forward to being able to publish all your comments to my blog from my e-mail once I get home and then I'll be able to respond, since I can't access your e-mail addresses right now.  Enjoy today's pictures and videos!  Next update, from the States!!

Last day

8:40 arro.m. Guangzhou (Tuesday)   I opened my eyes to our last full day in China this morning.  Ah.  As Meiying and I walked the hall to breakfast this a.m. she wanted to be carried again.  Oh boy.  She kept hugging me.  Very baby-toddler like.  I wasn't expecting this, but I had read about it happening some times.  I thought it would happen more once we got home, driven out of insecurity.  Maybe she's insecure now?  I can't tell; it doesn't seem motivated by insecurity, but rather a deep longing.   Anyway, so I was walking, she was being carried and I said (without thinking she'd understand), "This is our last day in China.  Tomorrow we will get on a plane and go home to America."  (I did hand gesture a plane taking off into the sky.)  You know what she did in response, she smiled, hugged me and clapped her hands.  Huh!  Yes, she's miss happy pants still today.  No request for a phone call since Sunday afternoon.   She said, in english, "Good morning Daddy.  How are you today?"  So, we're off to Shamian Island to meet the group and go tour some authentic China markets; collect our children's passports and visas and then I guess just hang out for the remainder of today until we pack our bags tonight.  Wooohoo!

Our "day 5" happening on day 8

8:00 p.m. Guangzhou (Monday)   Most families will tell you that day 5 is the magical day of your stay in China, when your child becomes the happiest and things start clicking.  Well, because Meiying didn't start grieving really (and rejecting me) until our day 4, today...day 8...was our day 5.  Miss happy pants, ray of sunshine, still full of herself-firecracker ARRIVED.  Okay, so I did allow an Orange Crush and about 3 lollipops today, but that was the limit, I swear.  Talking about swearing...   We had a surprise today.  They moved our Oath Ceremony up one day to today!  So, at 4:15 p.m. 48 families gathered at the US Consulate's Office, stood up and raised their right hands to be sworn in and repeat the Oath.   I have to say, we've been blessed with two very exciting Oath Ceremonies for both of our adoptions.  At Eliza's in 2006, we had a visiting US Consulate who had been previously responsible for statistical analysis of Chinese adoptions for the US, perform the Oath Ceremony for us.  She was so honored to be able to be present for her first Oath Ceremony and talked all about what it meant for her after being responsible for the data all those years.  She made it very personal.   Most families experience a very anticlimatic Oath Ceremony that lasts 1 minute.  Well, today, was as exciting and personal as Eliza's, but for a different reason.  They had a play area set up in the back of the room that I didn't remember last time and the children were all having a wonderful time, all ages.  It was quite chaotic, but fun to watch.   A few times, through all the crowd and voices, I heard Meiying call out Mommy-ahh (which is what she calls me most of the time).  I'd turn my neck and wave and she'd wave back with a happy smile.  I told Lieba, "Okay, I know my daughter's voice now through the crowd".   I think all of the children could feel their parents' excitement, relief and the finality of the occasion.   Our guide had told Meiying ahead of time what today was about and what would be happening.  When it was time to be sworn in, Meiying came up and sat on my lap.  Hmmm. She began hugging me and pressing her cheek against mine.  We then stood up and she held my hand very tight as I repeated the Oath with the other 47 families.  We all hooted and applauded and congratulated each other.   The Consulate congratulated us on completing the long, grueling process under the new requirements and we all laughed about that...grumble, grumble.   I then looked down and saw the happiest face ever looking up at me and I gave Meiying a high 5.  She raised her arms indicating that she wanted me to pick her up.  So I did.  She gave me the biggest squeeze around my neck and said, "Mommy, wo ai ni"  (translation, "Mommy, I love you").  Can you imagine my tears?  I was in shock.  I actually thought, did I hear that right?  I turned to our guide and quickly repeated it; Meiying grinned at her and my guide confirmed that that's what she said.  I was crying for so many reasons, the emotions of having done this trip by myself, the end of all that paper processing that took so many hours to complete and that I have this happy, beautiful, loving daughter accepting me and ready to move forward into a new chapter in her life.  Meiying sat on my lap the 45 minute drive back on the bus.  She wanted my arms wrapped around her waist and held them there.   She's definitely going thru the stages right now.  She wanted me to carry her a few times like a baby.  Shockingly, I think she's lighter than Eliza!  LOL  It was kind of an odd feeling for me,  at first, feeling her getting so close and lovey, but I understood where she was coming from and wanted her to go through these stages securely, blissfully, and so I just hugged and squeezed her back.  She'd kiss my cheek, then she started touching my face; almost like tracing it.  I still can't find the words to explain what I was feeling.  It was a mixture of awkwardness, but also tenderness and humbling and awe.   I must tell you though that we started out the day with her watching everything I did to get ready in the morning.  Then she repeated each step from applying moisturizer to her face, my deoderant, my eye shadow, even the mascara, my gel for her hair, perfume and lipstick.  She was dolled up this morning.  Of course, by the afternoon, the mascara had smudged and the beautiful lilac colored eyeshadow was half way down her face.  She is such a cutie though; such a charmer.   What a day.  I'll upload some pics and some video so check them out.  I've thoroughly enjoyed the last couple of days and being in China this time w/ a child who can speak the language and seems so confident and "street smart" has made this a lot of fun.  I love listening to her talk to the locals and our guide.  I've even enjoyed the food more these last few days too, if you can imagine that.  Our guide took us to JM Chef on the Island tonight and their beef is out of this world.  I asked Lieba if she thought we were eating the tongue or some part that we don't eat in the states because it was so tender.  She said she was afraid to ask and so was I.  But it was sooooo good.  BTW, Meiying sat there at the US Consulate repeating every word, every hand gesture, every raised eyebrow of mine.  She was cracking herself up over it too.  Then when all the kids were in the back of the room playing in the playhouse, she was right in the middle of everything telling everyone where to sit or play.  She's going to have no problem going to school.  She might get in trouble for talking to much, but she'll love it, I have no doubt.   One last factoid to share that I think is pretty cool.  Derek and I met at the Minneapolis airport when both the companies that we worked for at the time were both based out of Minneapolis.  So, when we adopted Eliza, our first child together, the  "port of entry" into the US was the Minneapolis airport, which is where Eliza became a US Citizen.  Well, this time, I've traveled alone.  I was born and raised in NY.  Guess where Meiying's "port of entry" will be?  NY's JFK Airport!  Pretty neat, huh?  Also, when I was leaving out of JFK for Beijing, the projection screen inside the airplane showed the route of the flight as it was leaving JFK.  We flew right over Poughkeepsie (where I'm from) and I smiled, teared up and felt like that was a message from my Dad in heaven that he was with me on this trip.  So when I was having those few very difficult days with Meiying's grief, I kept imagining that screen on the airplane and the word "Poughkeepsie" and it gave me comfort and strength to endure Meiying's pain and look forward to a happier time.  Today was definitely the happier time.  I know there will be moments of grief still to come, but Meiying's spirit wants to be happy and this I learned and felt today.

Something else

Oh and this a.m. when we walked down to breakfast.  I kept saying good morning to the hotel staff and Meiying walked behind me saying, in english, "Good morning, how are you today?" with a big smile.  It was very cute!

Happy girl

9:50 a.m. Guangzhou (Monday) Quick post this a.m.  Meiying woke up happy for the first time.  Thank God!  To make things clear, she hasn't spoken to her foster family since Friday morning.  When I say that she's tried calling, just understand that the outside calls have been blocked by the front desk, so she isn't actually speaking to them.  Make sense?   Jean, would I have done anything different w/ regard to calling foster parents?  Definitely, I would have set a limit right up front.  I would've had the guide tell her she could call a set number of times and at a specific time (boundaries and expectations).  Then I would've made it clear that there was a last call.  You live and learn.  I do think it was a battle that we would've endured no matter what though, yes.  I think it will be easier on your girls when you're in China because they are sisters, both leaving the foster parents together.  It'll be alright.   I look around at all these babies and toddlers being adopted and while this was really, really hard for several days and I missed the connection you feel with a baby who "needs you", I am so happy to be doing this w/ a child who can play, who is self-sufficient, no diapers, no naps, no fear that they're sick and can't tell you, etc.  I am also so happy to see Meiying playing and I mean, appropriately playing, with dolls, games, toys, coloring.  Having Eliza's autism dianosis, we missed out on her being able to do so many of these things.  Still, I do miss the quiet and snuggly Eliza terribly!  Especially yesterday when Meiying was on such a sugar-hyped up high!  LOL  It's going to be a fun balance; I think my life will definitely be more balanced now as a mom to my kids.  I would definitely recommend an older child adoption.  I'm sorry if my blog scared some of you waiting parents.  You'll get thru it; if I could do (alone), you can do it!   I'll post again tonight...continued prayer requests for another good day.