Where or where did Sarah go? I don't even know if anyone's still out there checking in on this blog?

Well, see that snow covered hill up there?  That's the hill that I was sledding down that put me into a CAM boot and crutches!  We had fun though.  Fractured my ankle and heel in multiple places.  Don't ask; just understand that I wasn't about to "bail out" heaving my body off the sled like the kids do.  Instead, I put my foot up to brace the impact as I slammed into a large-raised cement drain at the bottom of the hill.  Yep, ouch!

So our skies went from this...to this...

Several times during the months of January and February, much like most of the country, even though we live in the south.

My 80 + year old aunt, who is a retired elementary school teacher, sent this doll to Ava from her personal collection.  She used the dolls in her classroom during different topics of study.  I wish I had videotaped Ava opening the box because when she saw the doll she whispered, "huu...prettttty".

She is doing fabulous.  I'm volunteering in her class 2 days per week during reading and writing.  I really enjoy it.  I can tell that she enjoys having me there.  Her english is coming along fantastic.  She had an 8 word sentence to her teacher last week, all in english!  She is a math mentor in her class to students who need the help.  And she has moved out of the kindergarten level of assisted reading and writing (ESL) to the 1st grade level.  She's only been in school 4 months!

As for Eliza, we found a fantastic OT who is tapping into her sensory seeking, need for movement and response to music -- and combining that all into a therapy plan that seems to be working.  She's got fantastic tools that she's teaching me.  I also have Eliza in a gymnastics class w/ 1 other autistic child who needed the socialization.  Eliza is responding really well to that as well and I love the fact that they're willing to have a class just for these 2 special children.

Keeping busy w/ all 4 kids home and (ha, ha) trying to stay off my foot to let it heal, which is next to impossible.  You learn to live w/ pain!  As for the little black kitty-now grown up -- he's still back home w/ us and is quite happy sharing life w/ his BFF Hogan!

Our family of 6...in stockings that is.

We're trying to get back into the swing of a routine here. Two and half weeks off for the holidays proved to be a challenge beyond writing about for Eliza this year. That's for another day. She is settling back into the structure of school and that is a good thing for everyone. She has grown up in so many ways, but that is also opening up her frustrations over communication and the stims/ocd's to a greater extent as well. It's been a tough month and emotionally difficult for me seeing some very aggressive behaviors come out of her. We have finally conquered the sleep disorder and she has now been sleeping thru the night solid since December 18!!

Grandma and Eliza

Eliza on Christmas morning w/ a mouthful of cereal.

Ava is doing fabulous. She has really blossomed. She finally got to meet one grandma (my mother) and sincerely told her "I love you Grandma". She got earrings put in a few days before Christmas and didn't even cry...said "ouch" and then "pretttyyy". She laughed so hard when she heard me say to the store clerk, "Thank you for making my daughter ouch." She's been laughing at a lot of things these days. She exchanged phone numbers with some classmates on the last day of school before the break so we could arrange some playdates. The first time the phone rang and it was for Ava, I think we all held our breath as she put the phone up to her ear. She did wonderful though and her english is coming along fast and furious lately. She did end up having some playdates over the holiday break both here and at their homes and had a wonderful time. It was so good seeing her play with peers.

Ava's hair is growing long again already.

The earring!

Ava on Christmas morning.

Brendan turned 18 in December and is in the final stretch of his senior year of high school. He moved back home with us from his mother's just this week, feeling the need for more support and structure in these final few months of "make it or break it" (graduate, that is). Of course, we're so thrilled to have him home. I know Derek likes having another guy around again...he was feeling lonely in this house of females.

Allie turns 14 next week and she started the new year off with Mono and Strep (yes, at the same time). Poor thing. She's such a social butterfly so it's been hard for her to give into her body and rest, rest, rest. She cracks me up how she'll be playing a game with Ava one minute then complaining to me about Ava the next. She forgets how "annoying" she was when she was 7. In the car this afternoon, Ava had to tell us that she *farted* (Ava pronounces it "folted") 4 times; and then she cracked herself up. At which, Allie sitting up front next to me says, "See, she just doesn't stop. I mean is that really necessary." I laughed so hard, at Allie, more than at Ava's 7 year humor. Ahhhh, you're growing up Allie and I'm feeling very, very old!

Allie and Tux...Allie has grown into such a beautiful young woman!

Tux-the-cat (remember the adorable kitten from this summer) came to spend his Christmas vacation with us as his mom and dad went away. He enjoyed being back on the farm, seeing his mama-cat again, rubbing up against Hogan, and sharing bedtime baths and story time with me and the girls... Enjoyed it all so much that when George and Judy came home, they decided Tux should stay with us. They felt he needed Hogan and all the kids and activity. He's more of a dog than a cat. Quite a personality he's turned into. So, I'm on a quest to find George and Judy another pet! JK, sort of...

Tux, no longer the tiny kitten from this summer

So, my days are pretty much filled up with getting kids off to school, running to doctors and filling prescriptions, grocery shopping, menus, animals, cleaning the house...oh and enjoying Redbox movies in our surround-sound theatre room when the house gets quiet after 8:00 p.m. now! If the weather would warm up, maybe I'd find some time to get a walk in again.

Brrr...it's getting cold here in the south! Some photos of Ava and my nephew, Luke, having fun on the Dr. Seuss-like wacky playground at the school behind our farm.

Ava's latest english phrases include:
"Whattt? No, stop that. Please, excuse meeee."
"Watts that mean?"
"Who's zat?"
"I love you mommy."
"Hugga mommy."
"Not jyet."

I'll try to get some Eliza photos; lately she's ducking from the camera.

Happy Thanksgiving from our farm to your home!

Hauling away the pumpkins and (dead) mums to make room for Christmas decor!

Sniffles still being passed around our family...

preventing Mommy from attending a Silpada jewelry party...

so we made our own fashion jewelry!

Have a happy, healthy and love-filled Thanksgiving everyone!

I remember the days when Eliza used to walk into the house after school and drop her backpack.

NOW SHE DROPS HER DRAWERS!

She loves the sensory of smoothing out her diaper, then slowly closing her legs and watching the diaper crinkle up; then smoothing out the diaper again.  She does all this in slow motion.  It's a ritual; a stim; it's annoying; it's autism.  You can't always figure out why these kids do what they do.  Some times, it's fascinating watching and wondering; and some times it's just plain irritating because it's different...AND BECAUSE...

IF YOU KNOCKED ON MY DOOR THESE DAYS,

THIS IS WHAT YOU'D WALK INTO:

and this...

One with her pants down to her ankles, shuffling around the house, and one with her sunglasses on (even on rainy days and dark nights) and socks pulled up as high as they'll go!  On 2 different ocassions (how do you spell that word, the more I look at it, it looks wrong and no matter what I come up with, it doesn't look right?!),..anyway, on 2 different "whatevers" I heard both Derek and Allie say out loud, "She's not going out of the house w/ her socks like that, is she?"  You'd think they'd be used to what's not normal; sheesh, I mean, Eliza leaves both Barney and Pooh home now and just carries a diaper with her EVERYWHERE we go.  I laugh now because I don't even need to make sure that I have a spare diaper in my purse, Eliza carries her own!

So, Zoloft days 3, 4...up to 7 now, have continued as well as days 1 and 2.  Eliza's teachers have been equally pleased with her focus, vocalization, returned useage of signing and participating in social play.  That doesn't mean that Eliza is no longer autistic as demonstrated by the photo above (lol), uh really? 

And in case you're wondering, yes, I do pull her pants back up constantly (so does Derek, Allie and Ava).  She nods her head at me when I pull them up and say the words "pants up"; then she waits for me to walk away and pulls them back down.  Right after I took that photo of Eliza trying to get juice from the fridge, she heard Barney come on the tv and took off in a run only to forget that her pants were down and SPLAT, she fell.  That didn't stop her though from getting up and shuffling along as fast as she could.  It was one of the funniest things I've seen in a long time.

So, here's two pictures of my smiling beauties.   Tho Eliza's picture reminds me of a Whoopie Goldberg mask that my brother had one year at a family get together.  My dad had put it on and was riding one of the kids' bikes around and it is still a picture that makes me laugh out loud when I see it.   But any time I can get Eliza to actually look at the camera and smile on command is a prayer answered.  So, thank you Zoloft.  The sleeplessness still continues, however, and I'm waiting for that prayer to get answered or at least an understanding of why it's not getting answered!

Zoloft day 2, Eliza:  Too early in the day for a full report, BUT she just walked up to me and pulled her pj's at her bum area.  "Do you need a diaper change?"  "Mmmm" with a nod, she replied.  "Bring me a diaper please."  She walked into the bathroom and returned with a diaper.  She has NEVER told me that she need a diaper change (even in this way) and it's been many months since she's brought me a diaper, but never after just one request.  Fingers crossed; prayers being prayed...that the day continues this way!

Zoloft day 1, Eliza...all I can say is wow.  I met a new daughter today.  A daughter who looked us all in the eye.  A daughter who was smiling.  A daughter who was participating in jump rope along with her sister.  A daughter who didn't try to constantly run off from us.  A daughter who was actually sitting with us at my friend's patio, drinking water from a cup and being present.  A daughter who actually got into my friend Kim's car and happily sat there looking around to see where we were going instead of screaming and having a panic attack over getting into a stranger's car like she has in the past.  A daughter who needed only 1 prompt from me to follow an instruction.  A daughter who was trying to verbalize responses back to me again.  Wow.  I didn't get to this decision easily or lightly.  I prayed a lot about putting my 4 year old on this medication.  Now, I pray this very low dose (1/2 ml) continues to help her.

Here's a new video of my little ham practicing her new favorite thing to say! Be sure to go to the next post after watching the video for updates and lots of pictures:

Just some pictures of my two adorable little girls sharing computer time.  Aren't they so cute together?  A great website is http://www.starfall.com/  Ava's teacher lets her get on it during the school day when she notices that Ava starts "checking out".

Ava had a "Miss Spider's Tea Party" costume party in her class.  She had to be an insect so we used part of her Halloween costume and came up with a butterfly.  She had a great time.  The kids in her class had lots of questions for me about why I look different, why I'm not speaking chinese, how do you say ????, etc.  Very cute; very innocent and very welcoming to Ava.  They all had to tell me their names and that they are friends with Ava.   Her parent-teacher conference was the next day and she is doing very well and adjusting.  Her teacher and I decided that maybe I should come in and read a book about adoption during book time; and also come in during the Chinese New Year to talk to the class about it and let Ava show some things.  (Would welcome any of you BTDT's opinion or experiences.) 

Eliza got her haircut shorter this time.  (I always cut it because it's too much of a sensory experience in a negative way to take her to get it cut professionally).  Anyway, I loved how it turned out and would like to go even shorter!  She refused to stand still or look at the camera; this is her whizzing past me, and her picking her nose, and her actually letting me snap a picture of the back (lol).

Halloween was fun for Ava though she wasn't sure what to make of the scary parts of it!  Eliza enjoyed tolerated the jogger and only went to 3 doors, having to be carried by mom.  She wasn't into it this year at all (more on that below).  Fortunately, to help Ava understand, I had dressed in costume (sort of) too, so I happily went to each door w/ Ava collecting Eliza's treats!  I had a really good time experiencing this w/ Ava.  The girls were both dressed as fairy princesses this year.   Ava couldn't wait to put on her costume.

You should've seen Ava's face when she saw the first bowl-filled w/ candy that she got to choose from.  She took a while deciding as all the other kids were off and running to the next house.  We never did catch back up with our group.  By the end, she was just grabbing and going.  She finally said "tong" (hurt) and pointed to her legs.  She was exhausted.  Admittedly, I did play the "adopted from China" card a few times too when I had to explain that she couldn't understand their questions or the scary monsters sitting by people's front doors.  So she got lots of extra candy and lots of compliments!  She always said thank you and bye-bye, which is more than most of the little monsters kids were doing.  She is really so sweet and I'm falling in love with her. 

(She went along w/ Allie, my friend Kim and me to see the Amelia Earhardt movie on Sunday.)  Believe it or not, she enjoyed it...and the popcorn, soda and Twizzlers!  The cinematography was beautiful and not too much speaking, so she sort of understood what was happening.  I found myself watching her during the movie, just like I did when I first took Eliza to a movie.  I also had one of those moments when the  magnitude of a "China adoption" hits you...the paperwork...the travel to a foreign country...the entrusting of a child to you...  It really hit me sitting there watching THAT movie (about a woman pioneer) and my daughter.   I was a woman pioneer traveling to China alone.  Now I know what you all meant when you would e-mail me telling me that you couldn't believe I did it alone.  At the time, I wasn't thinking about it in that way; more of just needing to get there and bring home my daughter.

An update on Eliza that I've been meaning to share:  We're trying a sleep medication for Eliza (Clonidine); not having much luck w/ it.  Still averaging 6 hours of sleep per night; that's about 4-5 hours for me.  She IS still sleeping up in her room though and she IS still falling asleep relatively fast.  Seems her autism is debilitating her progress at school and home these days though.  She's requiring more redirection than ever and prone to the silly's, the twirling, laying on the floor, and flapping or hitting herself.  She has outburts of laughter, raging, crying.   Poor thing.  She's just completely unfocused and uninterested.  Please pray that she'll breakthrough this cycle as she has in the past.  She is really stunted right now.  These cycles are hard on everyone.  She's had a lot of changes both at home and in school; lack of sleep doesn't help; but really the changes have been gradual since mid-summer.  Ava is one that Eliza will really engage with though and that's great to see.  Ava adores her and fortunately, thinks Eliza's quirky ways are funny.  Having a child with autism is an isolating experience, especially during these more-autistic cyles, because life outside of the home is limited for the family.   I love Eliza so much; she's so beautiful and so intuitive; I wish I could do more for her as her mother.  (Ava's classroom looks out on the AU pre-k playground so I got to watch Eliza a little bit when I went to Ava's Miss Spider party.  Most of the time, she was either standing next to a bush or laying in the sand looking up.  I had tears in my eyes for her as I heard Ava and her classmates talking and interracting behind me.)

Enjoy all the pictures!